Posts tagged ‘raising sons’

Mar 26

Your Mom – A Get To Know You Game

Loch,

I plan for you to love me. Respect me. Be annoyed by me. Appreciate me. Wish I’d leave you alone for a while. The whole gambit. But should things take a turn I didn’t expect, I still want you to know me. To know I loved you. To know who I was, warts and all. People that are gone have a tendency to be remembered as saints, and that’s a lot to live up to. I’ll tell you right now, I’m no saint. I’m nice. I’m loving. I’m friendly. I’m loyal. But I’m also a bit vain, slightly over analytical, have limited patience, am a worrier and a panicker and do all together too much swearing. The truth of the matter is, there is no way I can possibly let you know everything about myself from my posts alone, so I thought I’d supplement the process by doing a number of ‘Get To Know You’ questionnaires and sprinkling them throughout the blog. My personal fav, the Proust Questionnaire (often seen in the back of Vanity Fair), will be among them.

The most important thing for you to know about me is that I love you. You are the joy of my life. You are the best thing I ever did. Truly.

Now writing this feels a little self-important (and long) but, should I not be around later, these might be nice things to know. These 50 questions are from sparkpeople.com and will hopefully give you insight into the little nuances that make up your mother.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No. But I do have the same name as Granny’s cousin Leigh, and almost had the same name as Granny’s cousin Brooke. Not sure why we stuck with family names, but there you go. I also know that Granny deliberately chose a name that “couldn’t be shortened” and then spent a good part of my childhood lengthening my name to things like, Leigh-dee, Leigh-dee-pa-dee-dee or Leigh-ski. My name meant continually telling people my name was not in fact short for Emily or Lesley or anything else, and the spelling has lead to a life of telling people my name is pronounced Lee and not Lay. When we named you, we seriously considered going with Locklan so everyone would always be able to phonically sound out your name, but between my name and half the people who call your Dad “Seen”, we figured if people wanted to mispronounce your name and call you Lowch-lan, let em. When it really came down to it, I can’t guarantee that continually correcting people – in front of everyone on the first day of class, say – didn’t somehow make me a bolder person. And bold ain’t bad.

indiawires.com

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I most recently cried in frustration at my continued need to ask for money from Granddad, and the subsequent shame I feel having to justify my life choices every time I do. Your grandparents are incredibly generous and without them we’d be screwed. Mostly it’s about me being sick. They pay for most of my medical bills, for my acupuncture and monitored exercise, and for the extra classes I put you in. They also help out when we get into a bind like when my old car died in the drive thru of McDonalds. Humiliating for your father ,who had to push the car out of the way. Fascinating for you, who watched the whole thing go down, and discouraging for me, who knew that I’d have to make a phone call to ask for money for the repairs. The thing is baby, we’re artists, and we don’t yet make the kind of money that we’d like. Our life is a struggle, and money, or the lack there of, is probably our biggest source of pain and discord. It’s pretty much the only thing Dad and I fight about. But it’s a heafty thing. I want you to be able to come to us for help if you need it (God knows I hope our financial future finds us in the position to help), but I would also steer you towards making your own money. Do what you love, just know you have to hustle and work. The bohemian life is only charming to a point. And asking your parents for money when you have your own kids…Sucks.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I like my printing – and I do a mean bubble letter for signs – but I can’t do cursive and I’m pretty sure a handwriting person would have a field day with me, as my writing changes from day to day. It’s always one of 3 styles but they aren’t even remotely similar. It depends on my mood/fatigue, time constraints, and the necessity for legibility. But occasionally my handwriting will change right in the middle of a letter. Very weird.

lifesambrosia.com

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I’m not really a lunch meat girl. I like salad sandwiches – tuna, egg, chicken, salmon – I like grilled cheese. I like the chicken sandwiches Granny makes with hunks of chicken and lettuce on white bread with lots of mayo, and I love PB&J – smooth not chunky – But deli meat? Not so much.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Sure do. Best kid ever.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yes. I’m a good friend. A devoted friend. Plus, I’m usually the person that says something when others are too embarrassed and that often helps out.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT? I do. I like sarcasm. I know people think it’s a snarky form of humor but a well placed sarcastic comment can bring a room down. I just try not to be cranky about it.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes. And my appendix. And my wisdom teeth. They never came down so I’m sure they’re still there…somewhere in my face.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Never. And I have to tell you babe, I’d advise against it for you too. Research is now showing that it can result in permanent internal organ damage. If you must get some mad thrills, I’d prefer you went sky diving. Your dad loved it and wants desperately to go again. Personally, I’d rather you both passed. But I’m making a solid effort to not be ‘that girl’.

thesweetdetail.blogspot.com

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Oh cereal! I love me some cereal. I eat cereal almost every single morning. Favorite ever would probably be Corn Pops (the Canadian kind, not the American kind) or Post Raisen Bran (not Kellogs) or Frosted Mini Wheats. Though lately I’ve been doing a lot of Cheerios and Granola. That’s the thing about cereal, you can switch it up with your mood. When I was little Fruit Loops were my favorite, but I only ever got them with Grand Mimi, or on our cottage’s opening weekend, when you got that variety pack of small boxes and they were included. When I became a college student living on my own, I remember buying a big box of Fruit Loops just because I could. To this day though, I can’t really eat them for breakfast. There more of a late night snack kinda thing.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No. I slip out of all of my shoes…and then I leave them everywhere. It’s a bad habit I share with you and your father. Our house is like an obstacle course of shoes.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically. I used to be. Now, not so much. Emotionally, probably not. I’m pretty sensitive. Spritually, yes. I go through every day doing what I need to to survive and be happy. I just keep trying.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Haagen Dazs Chocolate and Peanut Butter. Which is weird because I’m not a chocolate and peanut butter type of girl. I don’t even like Reeses Peanut Butter cups. But this ice cream is ridiculous. I generally eat it right out of the carton, and when I lived alone in NYC I had to actually stop myself from buying it because I could eat an entire pint in one day. I’d stand in the kitchen and tell myself I’d stop when the ice cream was flat (meaning I’d evened it out on all sides) but then I’d get a PB swirl and it would go into the next layer and then I’d have to flatten that one out…It was like OCD eating. A close second would be homemade peach ice cream at the cottage.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their clothes. It’s an easy one to see and make a call on from afar. And then the face. If I like it or not. Kind or not kind. Sour or sweet. Attractive or not…

15. RED OR PINK? Red. Pink and I were never close.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I have very limited patience and my skin is problematic.

Making Grand Mimi laugh. You'd also just stolen her sandwich.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Grand Mimi. Shows you what a blessed life I’ve had that the person that I miss most lived to 97. I don’t want to be your answer to this question.

18. WHATS YOUR PET PEEVE? Inefficient/Cryptic voice mail messages. “Hi, it’s Blank. I need to ask you something. Call me back.” Then you call back and inevitably get a machine and have to say, “Hi, it’s me. You needed to ask me something? What’s up? Call me back.” What a waste of time. If you’re leaving a message say what you need, give me the details and when I call you back I can give you the information whether I get you or not, and the productivity of the situation moves along.* Better yet, send an email.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Very old, beaten up cream cowboy boots. But really my answer should be no shoes because when I get home the first thing I do is take off my shoes – and then change into sweats (sorry Sean).

hidesinyoursocks.com

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A chocolate from Sees Candy. I’ve recently become that woman who eats chocolates. Like bon bon chocolates. I’m a horrible cliche. But I’m hooked. You went trick-or-treating this year and I didn’t want any of your candy. All I could think of was a dark chocolate scotch mallow or a milk chocolate vanilla cream from Sees. I may be a cliche but at least I’ve got good taste.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? I’m loving the new tune “We are Young” by Fun featuring Janelle Maonae. It makes me so happy. It reminds me of my youth. It makes me think of your future. It’s such a positive, cool tune.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Really? A crayon? I don’t want to be a crayon. Next!

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Sunscreen (coconuts), pine trees and bacon (cottage smells), Cool Water colone (reminds me of my youth), the ocean and home made roast beef dinner and chocolate chip cookies.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sean. He called from the garage to ask me a question about something I’d said was wrong with the computer. Real phone call? The president of your co-op to discuss yet another thing regarding the silent auction for your fundraiser. People, like me, that willingly go into these kinds of volunteer jobs are slightly crazy. Fundraising is no joke. It can wipe you out.

citypictures.net

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE? Beach house. I can’t really do altitudes with PH. But I think I’d still choose the beach house. I love the ocean. Not so much swimming in it. I prefer a pool. Or eating on it. I’m not crazy for sand. But if we had endless money I would have a beach house. I feel calm by the water. Heck, if we had endless money I’d probably want a mountain place too. You were so into learning to ski at Big Bear this winter. I’d love to give you more opportunities to do it.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Live – Hockey. TV – none. I find sports on TV mind numbing.

27. HAIR COLOR? Auburn or gold. I color it trying to recapture the hair of my youth. I used to say the color was “toasted eggo”. I thought it was an accurate description and far more true than blond.

28. EYE COLOR? Blue. Though they change colors with what I’m wearing. So they can also be green or grey.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nix. Great vision.

chattingkitchen.com

30. FAVORITE FOOD? This is tough. I LOVE food. It’s been a problem since I got sick because I used to work out all the time and eat pretty much whatever I wanted. Now, not so much. Those chocolates I mentioned are a real issue. Sick is one thing. Sick and fat, is totally another. I’m trying to keep it in check, but I’d say…cheese, bread, roast beef with pan roasted potatoes and carrots or mac & cheese made by Granny. Lemon or Yellow cake from a box. Superb sushi. Great pasta (no alfredo sauce) or a hamburger and fries. Oh hell, fries in general.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings. I don’t like to be scared. I watched the Exorcist when I was 11 and I never got over it. Scarred for life.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? 21 Jump Street. They did a great job. Super funny and totally what I wanted it to be.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Grey. You can pretty much assume I’m wearing white, grey, black or army green. My friend Keili once described my style as urban safari. I think that’s pretty accurate.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer!!! I love summer. Maybe it’s a, “it’s my birthday” thing, but I love everything about it. The heat, the long days, the fact that I get to drink on patios and go to the cottage. Even though I’ve lived in LA for 9 years where it’s pretty much always summer, I still get excited when the 24th of May rolls around – Memorial Day to my US crew and May 2-4 to my North of the Border peeps – and I know that soon I can stick my hand out the car window and feel the warm air on my skin. I love that.

selene-emotion.deviantart.com

35. HUGS OR KISSES? I guess hugs. You can get a lot from a hug and you can get them from more people. I remember I’d been in NY for about 2 months after moving there and someone at my school gave me a hug, and I started to cry. I had no boyfriend and hadn’t seen my parents or friends in a while, and I realized that it’d been a really long time since I’d been hugged. Human contact is very important to happiness. I personally can’t stop hugging and kissing you.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? In general – cookies. Always cookies over cake or pie. In a restaurant – I’d probably go warm chocolate cake, though I’ve been known to branch out. Desserts are a great place to take a risk.

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO? I’m a pilates girl now. But even when I went to the gym all the time, cardio was my least favorite. And yoga and I have never seen eye to eye.

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION? How could I choose? Couldn’t live without? Computer. Like the best? Television. Or lately, television on my computer. Best of both worlds.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Just finished rereading The Hunger Games on my iPad. I’m blow-out -nerd-excited about the movie. I guess next I should finally start the 4th book in the Game of Thrones series. I loved the first 3. Don’t know what’s stopping me from starting number 4.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse pad? No mouse pad Mr. Outdated Questionnaire.

42. FAVORITE SOUND? Your laugh. Rain on the roof of the cottage.

listenupdenver.com

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles. Though I’d take the Beach Boys over either of them.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I guess Bali.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I’m super fast at figuring out vanity plates on cars.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Wellsley Hospital, Toronto, ON Canada.

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW? In a lovely little house in Studio City, CA.

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE? Dirty white. But since it’s a rental, we’re hesitant about putting any more of our money into beautification.

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR? Black 2012 Ford Explorer. I love it. I’ve wanted a black truck since I first started driving. I finally got one this year and I’m so thrilled. (See: Anticipation). You named it Schatzy. It’s totally stuck.

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS? Actually it was pretty cool. Self knowledge is a good thing.

I love you baby. Get to know yourself and embrace all you are. I’m so very proud of you.

xoxo your mommy

The Family McGowan in our Loch's 4 Birthday Shirts that your Dad designed. I'm pretty sure you'll outgrow wanting to match with your parents, but for now we're embracing it!

*only time this doesn’t work is for very personal information not to be left on answering machines. Deaths, Births, Engagements. Otherwise just tell me what you need!

Nov 28

25 Comments

Being a Man

Dear Loch,

So, you have a girlfriend at school. She’s new this year and you’re crazy about each other. She’s your favorite and you’re her hero. It’s mad cute. The other day though, one of the “cool” girls (and I say that with a touch of irony as I know everyone is 3 and 4) told your girlfriend that she could sit beside her. Your girlfriend was thrilled. She’d finally been accepted! You, however, were not so thrilled. As it worked out, there wasn’t enough space now for you to sit. You tried to finesse one but it wasn’t happening so you stood in front of your girl and wailed. You cried and cried until I came and lead you away. What I told you then makes me laugh just thinking of it. It went kinda like this, “Loch, I understand you’re upset. I know you want to be with her but you can’t be the guy crying in her face. Go play with your boys. Sit with someone else. Have fun and just hang out and she’ll come back to you. She has to sit with the girls right now. That a big move for her. But she’s crazy about you and she’ll come back just as long as you aren’t the boy screaming in her face. You don’t wanna be that guy.” Honestly, Preschool mirrors Jr. High more than I can possibly say. But it got me thinking. I told you you “don’t want to be that guy.” But what kind of guy should you be? What kind of man would I like to see you become? What could I possibly have to teach you about being a man?

Loch, you have a wonderful father who has been loving and involved in your life since before you were born. You will learn how to be a good man from him. Sensitive but not wussy. Confidence without arrogance. It’s such a relief for me to know that should I not be around, your father will be. Listen to him. He is a spectacular role model, and despite his rocky beginning in the teenage behavior department, he became one of the best men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. That being said however, women have a unique perspective on what makes a man. What qualities we value varies from person to person but since you are my son, I want you to know what I see as the markings of a truly good man.

When you’re young and dating, people always ask you what your “top 5” requirements are. You’ll answer this question many times in your life. MY list looked something like this:

Top 5 Qualities in an Ideal Man

Ambitious

Sense of Humor/Funny

Smart

Attractive

Powerful

Ambition is a big one and one that still rests near the top of my list. Ambition is a bit illusive as you can be ambitious without being successful, but, I feel that truly ambitious people eventually succeed because they’re not the type to give up. Determine goals for yourself. Set the bar high and be tenacious working towards them. You gotta be “hungry” and not afraid of the work it will take to get where you want to be. Men aren’t lazy. Boys are. Ambition can be a wonderful trait. It can spur you on when you feel like stopping. It can inspire you to find a new way to do something. It can focus your life like no other. Just be sure that your ambition doesn’t overshadow your life. Push yourself. Aim high. Go for the gold, and all the other cliches you can think of, but never at the expense of your family or friends. Getting where you want is not worth anything if you’re alone. Don’t step on anyone on the way up that you wouldn’t want to see on the way down. Remember who helped you. Help others. Be a man you can be proud of and that others are happy for.

Sense of Humor is on everyone’s list. I read once that to most people sense of humor simply means, someone who laughs at my jokes. Funny would be someone who makes you laugh. Strive to be both.

Hospitalized in Mexico. Sean brings light to the situation.

Ultimately people just want someone who gets them. Funny people are almost always liked. I don’t mean being a comedian – someone who’s always on or pushing to find the humor – or a comic who is funny for a living, but just someone who enjoys the lightness of life and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself. Sense of humor also means someone who can see the humor in a bad situation. Who can brighten a room and make others more comfortable. There’s nothing worse than people who take themselves too seriously. People who are too self aware to laugh a little. A real man uses humor to his advantage and isn’t afraid to poke fun at himself.

Smart is big. You want to be a smart man. Smart does not mean intellectual. Often the most intellectual people aren’t very smart. Smart, to me, means clever. Well educated. Aware. People who are exceptional in their given field but who are also clued in to the rest of the world. You should have a working knowledge of many areas of life. You might not care about sports (that would be me) but you should know the names of at least 6-10 teams in each league. You should know the names of major sports stars of the day and you should have a working knowledge of how the games are played/scored. (Unless it’s cricket. I don’t get that game.) You may not be a business guy but you should at least comprehend the stock market and interest rates (I plan on putting you in classes for this since this a problematic department for me). Fashion might not be your thing but you should be able to name at least 8 designers and know how to dress yourself so you don’t look like a douche. You may be ambivalent about entertainment (almost impossible growing up in this house) but you should know certain actors, bands, author’s names. I don’t watch reality television but I could have a relatively interesting conversation on the topic. You have to be aware. It’s not enough to say, “I’m a guy. I don’t know about that stuff” or “I’m too busy to watch the news.” Get a clue. Life is happening. Not just your life. Be part of it. There’s nothing duller than a man who knows infinite amounts about only one topic.

Attractive is totally subjective and on the surface might seem shallow or irrelevant. At the end of the day you will be attracted to who you are attracted to and vice versa. It’s a lot of chemistry that is sometimes unexplainable.

Ready in 5 minutes but the man is not afraid of a few accessories.

When I talk about begin attractive I am really talking about taking care of yourself. You’re going to look how you’re going to look. Currently things are looking good and I’m not going to lie, the world is kinder to attractive people. It’s a sad but true fact. What I’m talking about though is taking pride in how you look. Working out. Staying in shape. Respecting your body for what it can do, but also for how good it can look if you put some effort in. I’m talking about showering and smelling good. I’m going to insist on deodorant – preferably non-aluminum. Musky is nice. Too much musky is rank. Get a cool haircut. Put product in or don’t. Have nice nails and non-Hobbit like feet. Avoid sketchy facial hair. Care, within reason, about your clothes. Don’t be too cool to dress up. Be respectful of where you’re going. You can still be manly if you make an effort. Just don’t get prissy about it. Men that take longer than women to get dressed are unattractive no matter how handsome they are. And that’s the long and the short of it, isn’t it? Attractiveness has a whole lot to do with attitude. You don’t have to be the best looking to be attractive. You have to be at ease in your skin. Confident with yourself. And those things are easier to do if you smell and look nice.

Powerful is one of those things I still find attractive but one that no longer makes my top 5. Powerful men are sexy. Powerful men are attractive. Powerful men get things done. And getting things done – being someone who delivers – is a palpable trait. It’s hard not to be attracted to power. It’s addictive. But it can also be hard. It can be vain. It can be short sighted. You want to be someone who gets s#^* done but you don’t want to be rude about it. I’d call it quietly powerful. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you want. To let someone know if they let you down. To send a steak back if it’s cooked all wrong or to tell a manager if there’s a problem. Stand up for what you know is right. Stick to your guns. Practice the art of persuasion and learn how to get what you want without being a d*^#. As your Granddad always said, be diplomatic. It’s power…with class.

And though power has it’s place, it’s Kindness that has replaced it on my list. In many ways, kindness has moved right to the top. It took me years to figure this out so I’ll let you know that some women, particularly young women, might not have any idea this is a key quality. They still like bad boys. The men that keep them guessing. The men that treat them like dirt. I understand this phenomenon as, for a time, I was that girl. It wasn’t until much later that I realized love wasn’t supposed to be that much work. It wasn’t supposed to cause me so much pain. That having someone be nice to me was lovely and I deserved it. You deserve it too. Pick kind people to be around if you can help it. Be kind to others. Be empathetic. Think about how what you do or say might affect someone else. I’m not advocating doormat behavior or being the “nice guy”. I’m just saying be a nice guy. Be someone people can count on. Which leads me to…

Honorable. An old word but an exceptional trait. You want to be the kind of man that people trust. That people can trust in. The kind of man that gives his word and follows through. The world has become very wishy washy in the honor department. It’s a trade up world. A world where people don’t think twice about selling out to get ahead. Money is king in modern day America and for that honor has taken a real back seat. I think it’s a real compliment to be referred to as a stand up guy. A gentleman. It speaks to a world of principles that are almost lost to us. And with honor comes…

Loyalty. Real men are loyal. To their friends. To their morals. To their wives. Enough said.

Other things I’d like to see my boy learn on his way to manhood:

Learn to Dance – I’d probably steer you away from competitive dancing, but dancing in general is a phenomenal skill for a man to have. The man that can dance is a real catch. If you can dance to popular music that’s a bonus but learn couple dancing too. Learn to lead. It’s great fun and a terrific way to impress the ladies. P.S. Your dad is awesome at this.

Be Handy – Now this may be impossible as I think it’s more genetic than taught – you’re either handy or your not – but it is my hope, based on the fact that I was quite handy until I met your Dad (who is so handy that I became useless), that you will have some skill in this department. Handy is key. Something is broken? You can fix it. Something needs building? You can build it. I really can’t say enough about this. I remember talking to someone Granny’s age once and she said if she could do it all over again she’d marry someone handy. First quality. I laughed because I grew up with your Granddad who is gifted in so many areas but handy is not one of them. When I married Sean it was such a pleasure to not have to call someone for every little thing. This summer, after 2 engineers, 1 architect and 2 business men tried to put together your swing set at the cottage, your Dad arrived and got it done in 1 day. One day. Get the tools and learn from your Dad. Everyone will be grateful you did.

Change a tire – I am the worst feminist for admitting this, but there are still some things I like a man to do. Changing a tire is one of them. I know I should learn but I still don’t know how. Pathetic but true. But as a man, you better know. My sexism also extends to…

BBQ – I have a hard time thinking of a man as a man if he doesn’t know how to barbecue. Really dude?! You can’t grill a burger? Not cool.

Pay your own bills – A tough one because sometimes it’s easier said than done, but I feel it’s hard to consider a man a real man if he can’t pay his own bills. You don’t necessarily have to be the provider (sole or otherwise) but you can’t have your girl or your parents or your boyfriend always pick up your tab. We don’t want no scrubs.

Develop Manners – Look people in the eye when you shake hands. Be appreciative. Open doors for people – not just women – people. (Though you should help women on and off with their coats and offer your jacket to a cold girl.) Respect your elders and your juniors. Be polite to waiters and people serving or helping you. And apologize when you’re wrong. The world opens to people with manners. A real man knows that, but would have done it anyway.

Play at least one sport (video games don’t count) – I don’t care if it’s golf, football or anything in between. Sports and men kinda go together. It breeds camaraderie. It bolsters healthy competition. It keeps you fit and it gets you outside. It also helps you shape up to…

Lift heavy things or at least open jars – Please don’t be the guy that can’t open a jar. I don’t want you to be a meat head but at least have enough physical strength to help a friend move or open a new jam.

Finally, Listen – Men are notoriously bad at this. Work against that. Pay attention when people say things. Especially special people in your life. The man that brings you peonies because you said they were your favorite flower, is a man you keep. Try not to be the guy who brings the generic roses with the baby’s breath from the deli.

Here’s the thing: Your Dad was an Eagle Boy Scout. He can make a fire with no match. He can find his way out of the forest with no compass. He can shoot accurately with multiple guns, a cross bow and a bow & arrow. He’s white water rafted and jumped out of a plane. He played football in high school and is now into competitive paintball. He’s a man’s man and you’ll learn multiple skills from him. But he’s also an actor and a dancer and a romantic. He tells a great joke. He knows about wine. He takes pleasure in his appearance. He’s loyal to his friends. He’s a hands-on father. He works his heart out for his career. He remembers my favorite things and puts his family first. He is a loyal, loving man and a person you should be proud to grow up like.